Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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