I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
