# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
