btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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