I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
