I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
