this beer tastes like vomit already
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I lost the right to judge tonight
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
