Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
