Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
