Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
