whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
