he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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