I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
