i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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