Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
