I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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