i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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