Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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