i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
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