Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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