my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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