She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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