my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
