hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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