woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
