He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
