Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
