my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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