After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
