I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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