Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
