Will you blow on my dice?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
