so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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