So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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