You really coming over, don't trick.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
