he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
