If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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