its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
then he tried to convert me to islam
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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