I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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