I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
