Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize