it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
