Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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