I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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