What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
