No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize