there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
