I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
