what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
