I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
