I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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