This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
