It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
