i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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