susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
