Don't you send me to vm
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
