using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
