@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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